Monday, October 23. Transfer day. Flew to Bangkok, then took a very uncomfortable bus ride to our camp on the River Khwae Noi (Kwai). We stopped for lunch at the famous Bridge, which in fact didn’t cross the River Kwai when it was built, but the river that the Kwai flows into. The author of the book got it wrong. But the movie was so successful (creating a tourism sensation) Thailand renamed the main river above the merge “Khwae Yai”. Most of the bridge is original, with only the part destroyed by bombing replaced. We were lucky enough to be on the bridge while a train passed. (They have platforms at intervals for pedestrians to escape to for such times.)

Interesting tidbit #1: Though “The Bridge Over The River Kwai” is immensely popular, the movie “The King and I” is and has always been banned in Thailand.

The rest of the way to the camp was bordered by Thai-focused tourist stops. I remarked again about the lack of trucks on the road and learned;

Interesting tidbit #2: Trucks are banned from roadways during daylight hours.

The camp is 100 steps up from the river. I know this because the natural pool is at the bottom. The refreshing feeling of being in the pool is cancelled out by the climb back up. Tent clamping. The individual toilet/shower room is solid. The tent has an AC unit. Thatched floor. Wifi, lights, fridge. But canvas walls. Dinner was outdoors with canned American music. Wide range of delicious-looking foods. (Until today I’d gone well off my weight management program, so I fasted most of the day to adjust.)

Sunday, October 22. On the way to the Golden Triangle we made an unscheduled stop at Tham Luang Cave, where in 2018 13 boys and their soccer coach were trapped by rain water for about two weeks. There is now an impressive statue of the diver who died in the attempt to rescue them. The cave system is now closed off except for the first 400 meters, and today even that was closed due to water. It was a good detour for us.

Next was the Opium Museum. Exhaustive history. Included was a video on how to convert the opium “juice” into the end product. Thailand is properly proud that they successfully eradicated the crop thirty years ago, using both the carrot and stick. They also had a display room of other northern Thailand features. The Mekong Catfish is the world’s second largest fresh water fish. (They say it’s the largest, but the Russian sturgeon has that honor.) Also shown were the Long-necked people.

Rode in third-world jalopies to lunch. 10.5 hp single cylinder engines. The location is a multi-purpose collection of crafts and skills. Out front were cheerful small children selling their crayon drawings for $1 or less. Lunch was grilled pork and steamed brown rice.

The last stop was a view of Myanmar and Laos. This is my second three-country viewing (Paraguay, Brazil, Argentina). The Mekong is already a wide, fast moving river, though it is still far from the Pacific. The main building seen in Myanmar is a casino. The city in Laos is developing rapidly thanks to Chinese money, Chinese workers and Chinese tourists. One building still under construction is a casino.

Dinner was spaghetti, Thai style. A little bit spicy with much more sauce than noodles. Meat was disturbingly undercooked. I selected the restaurant primarily for their featured wine (19 Crimes), which I’d had before. Hopefully the wine will counteract any aftereffects from the meat. I stumbled upon a beautiful clock tower on the way to the local Irish bar to watch some more cricket.

Saturday, October 21. Drive to Chiang Rai, stopping at a few sites. First was an umbrella factory, making (mostly) paper umbrellas. (Amazingly, it began to rain just as we entered their outdoor but roofed over facility and stopped just was we were leaving. Karma.) It’s an assembly line process with women (all seniors) doing one step in the construction process. The paper is made exclusively with mulberry tree bark. Virtually no machinery. The workers are paid about $9 per day, without any benefits. The one woman we interviewed said it was better than having to commute to the city. It was clearly a no-pressure kind of job. Gift shop prices were insanely low. A side-business has begun where the painters will paint cell phone covers and such while you wait.

The drive was unremarkable. The roads here are just fine. Traffic is sedate. Yes, there are your normal scooter crazies, but that’s commonplace worldwide. Everything seems fairly modern, as opposed to other countries where the further you are from the main city, the less advanced everything appears. No oxcarts.

Lunch was on a patio looking out over rice fields. Very pretty. Beautiful food, literally. Edible flowers were the garnish.

The day’s main attraction was a visit to the White Temple complex. Thailand’s National artist is using his own money to rebuild and massively expand an existing temple, using artwork that can be described in various ways by various critics. I thought it was over-the-top quirky. Gaudi gone wild (well, wilder). The main buildings are all white with small inlaid mirrors. They truly sparkle. The complex defeats any attempt at a short description. It’s still a work in progress, due to be finished decades from now.

Our introduction to Chiang Rai proper was to walk through an incredibly massive Saturday night market. Exceeds in size anything I’ve ever seen. Crowds. Food of all kinds. Narrow lanes between booths. Crowds. Line dancing. Stir fried worms and crickets. Did I mention crowds? In spite of all the food in the market Are suggested we eat at an actual restaurant. Excellent food. Because I’d been bending his ear about pineapple fried rice, that’s what he ordered, along with most of the others. I had sweet and sour shrimp and chicken.

Later I sat at a wine bar and had a nice Sauvignon Blanc for $5.

Friday, October 20. Visited a “Karen” Long Neck village. One of several, located in both Thailand and Burma. Population 130. Women wear long coils (not rings)of brass around their necks. U.N. once called it a “Human Zoo”, but I saw a very poor village that had a tradition of dress that went back long before tourism. If tourists wanted to stop by and buy souvenirs that contributed to their income, so much the better. To their great credit, there was no hard selling activity. Buy something, don’t buy something. No problem.

EcoValley Elephant Care Center. Outstanding. Included a museum with well-written displays. Totally well behaved elephants. Learned how they are treated, cared for, fed and bathed. The caretakers did not ride the elephants, unlike Nepal. The only downside I heard was that they don’t necessarily enjoy being bathed so often. Several headed for the mud pit right afterwards. Dirt acts as sunscreen. We also learned the process for turning elephant dung into paper. Except for the first step, it was identical to normal paper-making. The entire experience was great.

Walked around town a little. Had spring rolls at an Irish bar and watched some world cup cricket. An American in Thailand, sitting in an Irish bar, watching Australia and Pakistan play cricket in India. Tell me we don’t live in a global environment. Afterwards I had pineapple fried rice with shrimp. Awful. Overcooked. But it cost $2 rather than $18 for the same thing in the USA. I ended up going back to The House for seconds of minced beef. Spicier than last night. Clearly, adding the right amount of spice is a lost art, regardless of location. Last stop was the Irish bar again to see how cricket was going. The game seemed endless. After more than three hours, it was only halftime.

Thursday, October 19. Not the most informative of days. Visited a wood carving studio that carved elephant images exclusively. All the carvers are older than 59, so the studio is destined to shut down someday. Immense inventory. The most impressive items were lifesized cement statues at the entrance. Hard wood is used; it’s not whittling. More like working with stone. Chisels, not jackknives. The finished products aren’t smoothed or stained, giving the appearance (to me) that they are not complete.

Next was a drive up to the highlands, where the air was cooler but still intensely humid. For a Thursday, very crowded with Thais. Can’t imagine how it would be on a weekend. At times it was a one and a half lane, two-way road. We went on a nature hike that comprised all that I despise in nature hikes. Everyone else appeared to be enjoying it, so what do I know. Our destination had a view of the village below. Nothing remarkable.

Had lunch at a place with a busy but charming backyard which looked like something out of Wonderland. Or the Shire. (There was a round door on the side of a mound.) Good family-style lunch with a little of everything. Everyone but me had some kind of coffee, which the area is famous for.

On the way back we observed some massive police activity, which Are guessed had something to do with a visit from a close relative of the King. We also experienced an intense, short-lived rain storm. Impressive amount of water fell in a span of ten minutes.

We had no set dinner plan. I asked Are for a location that would have pineapple fried rice. He recommended a place named “The House of Ginger”. On the way I saw several small places that had the item on their menu, so I wondered why he’d send me further out. Turns out the beautifully decorated restaurant is a Michelin Bib Gourmand designated restaurant (“great food, low price”). Chose to change my food choice to Stir Fried Minced Beef in Basil and Chili. Spicy and excellent. By Thai standards it was an expensive meal. By USA standards, a steal.

A short walk around the area revealed a massive number of bars. Very reminiscent of the seventies.

Wednesday, October 18. After a week of traveling alone, today I finally joined up with most of my fellow adventurers for the Pre-Extension tour of non-Bangkok Thailand. We flew to Chiang Mai, situated in the mountainous north. The humid heat was out in force and a pattern was possibly emerging of a lot of rest and recovery time. The hotel is fine, but not top-of-the-line. Folksy. I delivered laundry at 3:30 and it was returned at 5:30. Folksy is just fine.

I got a haircut! The first professional job since 2019. $11. I motioned to leave very little, but the barber interpreted my hand single to mean cut very little. It was a fine result though.

Orientation walk was typical. Two specific observations is that there are a lot of foreigners here and cannabis is popular. Many shops. “Free 1 gram” signs. Are, our trip leader, says weed became legal just last year and there is a movement to make it illegal again. (His name is actually just “R”, but he spells it “Are” to avoid confusion. Has a sister named “O”.)

Temples, massage parlors, and cannabis stores make up a sizable percentage of real estate. And scooter rentals.

Welcome dinner was nice. A selection of typical asian plates. I got a free beer for printing the manager’s photo. It’s clear that I’ll need to tolerate coconut milk as a standard ingredient in many dishes. Haven’t had to cope with curry yet. “Iced Thai Milk Tea” has become my new favorite drink.

From dinner we went to the famous night market. It was indeed impressively large. Saw an ever-present Irish Pub. We all jammed into a ubiquitous “Red Truck” taxi to return to the hotel.

Here’s a map of our itinerary:

Tuesday, October 17. Booked a round of golf at a very exclusive course; Thai Country Club. “Tiger Played Here.” To sum up, I had an interesting day of happiness and pain.

Happiness: Beautiful clubhouse and restaurant. Gorgeous course. Far fewer golfers than I expected. Played alone with no one in front or behind. No rain. Mandatory caddie, who was required to drive the cart for insurance purposes. She also put down the tee and ball, raked the bunkers, replaced divots, cleaned the ball on greens, recommended clubs, “accidentally” relocated the ball at times, supplied me with water and towel, etc. All I had to do was hit the ball.

Pain: I couldn’t hit a ball properly to save my life. Finished the front nine with a score of [classified]. Not an excuse, but in other news It was very hot and humid. No real surprise, except for how it affected me. I drank a huge amount of water throughout, but around the ninth hole my normal back pain began to be an issue. On the tenth (where Tiger’s 356 yard drive reached the green in 1997) I began to see spots and felt dizziness. Worsened on the 11th. So I asked the caddie to just give me a nickel tour of the remaining holes.

Took a much needed shower, then relaxed in the restaurant to watch others finish on the 18th. It didn’t really look like anyone was having good day. Ordered gyoza and then spaghetti (thinking of you, Debbie). Three small margaritas helped cure all ills.

I spent too much time in the gift shop. But I can claim heat exhaustion for all my purchases.

Mark Twain described golf as a fine walk, spoiled. Twain should have rented a cart and caddie, because in spite of the pain I had a very memorable day.

Monday, October 16. Redeye flight was okay. Haneda Airport has the best high tech process for exiting. Thailand’s airport is also very nice. Customs and immigration was practically a non-event. I was early to the meeting place, but my day’s guide was a little late. We had a good conversation on the long morning drive out of the city. He thought we’d miss the Train Market event and have to wait for the second one, but fortunately the train was late.

The Train Market sits along both sides of a railroad track, where customers must walk on the tracks. Not only people, but merchandise and restaurant tables are set on the tracks. Each time the train goes by everything and everyone has to squeeze out to let the train by. As soon as the train inches by, out comes the canopies, chairs, etc. Happens four times a day. It’s fascinating.

Though I’ve seen plenty of markets in my travels, this one was special, besides the train aspect. There were more kinds of seafood than I’d ever seen. The souvenirs were just typical. I had a slushy made with durian fruit. The fruit itself smelled just horrible, but the slushy was only bad. (The hotel had guidance for wifi, meal times, etc. One special note was “Durian Fruit not allowed.” Made total sense.)

Next was a coconut sugar farm. The sugar comes from the palms. Each day a section of palm is sliced off and sap is collected. This is boiled for hours. The product has a consistency of maple syrup. Very good.

Last was the floating market. We rented a paddle boat ride rather than a motorboat. One observation is that the motorboats should be banned. Loud, smelly and obtrusive. The canals are more extensive than needed, hinting that the market was once much larger. Paddling around the abandoned areas was depressing. I wondered about plumbing. But the market was remarkable. Totally different than Venice, Amsterdam and Jinghang, China. Not only did the waterside merchants grab our boat to sell their merchandise (souvenirs or food), but there were roving boats paddling around also selling things, and not being subtle about it. Bought some excellent pork sausages filled with seasoned rice. Taste was identical to gyoza.

Walking along the shoreline was definitely less fun, but still interesting. Merchants touched me to get attention though. Don’t like that.

It was a long drive in the morning and a long one getting back. Traffic is less exciting than I expected though. Compared to other countries it was downright calm. Many, many buddha statues. Duh.

Checked into the hotel and just about crashed. I did stop at the lobby bar for a complementary mocktail that was a pure joy to drink. I had planned to go on a walkabout but it was raining. Needed to keep my shoes dry for tomorrow, when I play golf at a 5-star country club. Embarrassment awaits!